haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
