yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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