if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
