I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize