u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
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