It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
