Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
