were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Randomize