If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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