i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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