Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
