I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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