He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Randomize
