she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
