i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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