I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
