i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Randomize