i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
