The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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