Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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