My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
