My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
