some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I need to sanitize my soul.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
