One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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