I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
