the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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