when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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