Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Randomize