I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
