Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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