so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
