plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize