Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
