Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
