the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
