can we get nightvision for the apartment?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
