I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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