Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Randomize
