it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Randomize
