I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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