please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
