So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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