Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
