In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
