All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
