You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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