I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize