when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
