Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
