i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
