dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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