Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
