all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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