This is not my ceiling
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
