Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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