Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize