I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize