Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
