Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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