Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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