Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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