I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
