But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize