Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
