Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
