In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
