Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
