So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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