i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Come see our sink grown plant.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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