Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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