i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
